I don’t know. If you figure it out would you tell me? Anyway. A lot of the life of a cis partner of a trans person is trying to smooth out the dysphoria in the trans person’s life. This is not easy. It’s downright hard. Perhaps impossible. Oh you don’t know what dysphoria is? Sorry. Gender dysphoria includes a ton of things. Google it. But very simply it’s the feelings of disconnection and body hate trans people feel about their bodies. Sometimes the world thinks it’s about their dislike of genitals. Nope. It often focuses on anything that makes them feel like they do not present as the correct gender or that makes them feel internally uncomfortable with their gender. That could be hair, how tall the are, face shape, body shape, weight, really anything.
So last evening we had a very dysphoria filled evening. My wife was unhappy with just about everything about herself. I cannot solve these things. It took me a long time to realize that even when I solve these things I can’t solve these things. Even when I fix her hair, fix her makeup, and do everything to make her look pretty she doesn’t feel pretty. It isn’t in my control. I have to let go. I’m not good at things that aren’t under my control. But I’m working on it.